


trouble, trouble, trouble

by ladykestrel



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Modern AU, some curse words appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-03 20:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2887550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladykestrel/pseuds/ladykestrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nikolai smiled at her and Alina smiled at him and it was like the ending of a movie where the audience believed the couple would make it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. not like the movies

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally just a tiny ficlet, but somebody on tumblr asked me to continue it. Hope this is as good as the shorter version. (:

She was in some deep shit.

Alina was not the type for a one night stand. She was not the type for any kind of stand, actually. Least of all those that involved getting naked with complete strangers.

And yet she’d gone and done it anyway.

It was funny how sometimes you ended up so surprised at your own person. You spend your whole life shaping yourself, putting thoughts into your own head and making them true. You build up your character into a cottage, a skyscraper, an inpenetratable fortress. Then you got to watch it crumble down, knowing you caused its demise.

That said, surprise wasn’t always a bad thing. But in this case, it was.

She’d met _Sturmhond_ on a boat ride. It was one of those commercial ones where they emptied your wallet just to take you out to the lighthouse and then bring you back. He’d been the captain. When he went up to the deck, megaphone in hand, Alina had snorted. He had the most ridiculous sailor hat on. But it made him look so good.

Sturmhond had also been the most charming, witty captain Alina had had the pleasure of meet. (Not that she’d met a lot of captains in her lifetime. And not that he was an actual captain.) She’d been left with the impression that Sturmhond could sweet-talk anyone into anything. Including her.

That’s how she’d fallen prey into his charming trap.

Alina had been sitting on an uncomfortable wooden bench, trying to quell her stomach’s rebellion. She had hoped she didn’t look too green in the face. (This boat ride being another surprise, as waves made Alina queasy.) She had noticed the black and white hat bob through the crowd of people. Then she’d seen a pair of hazel eyes lock with her own. Alina had sworn that if she’d been on solid ground right then and there, she would have felt it give under her high-heeled feet.  (Another surprise on her part. Her day had been full of those, it seemed.)

The captain had pushed his way through to where Alina was standing. “What’s a beautiful lady like you doing here by herself?” Alina had watched his lips move in the rhythm of his words. His voice was honey and she’d wanted it to pour it over her entire body.

“Aren’t you supposed to be steering the boat, _captain_?” Alina had kept it casual. She had given no indication of what his presence was going to her just by standing there. “You don’t want this beautiful lady to drown along with the other passengers, do you?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, darling. The boat’s in safe hands.” He’d even given her a salute, which had made his sailor hat all that more ridiculous. Alina snorted for the second time that day at the foolish, yet gorgeous, boat captain.

“Name’s Sturmhond,” the captain had told her. He’d stuck his hand out for Alina to shake. “And who might you be, beautiful?”

Alina had smirked, “What an unfortunate name. You must’ve won the parents lottery or something.”

“Guess you can say that,” his lips turned up in a cocky smirk.

Alina Starkov wasn’t usually one for smug bastards. Yet, she’d still held out her hand and taken his. “I’m Alina.”

That first meeting had resulted into something she would have never done. Or at least, thought she wouldn’t have.

And just like that, Alina Starkov had found herself in some trouble. (Or deep shit, whichever expression tickled your fancy.)

That was how she’d found herself at the pier, with people piling out of the commercial boats from the last trip of the day. That was how her feet had taken her to the very end of the line – which sounded very metaphorical now that she looked back on it – and into the arms of a blond-haired wonder.

_Oh captain, my captain._

His boat had been the very last one docked with the waters of the Big Blue swaying behind it. She’d stepped on board. The wood had creaked from under her, announcing her arrival. Sturmhond’s head had peeked out from the captain’s quarters, his eyes gleaming with the ever-present promise of mischief. Alina’s knees had gone weak. He’d smiled at her and that rest was history, as they said.

That night, just as the sun was kissing the sea horizon goodbye for the day, Alina had wished she had gone to church on Sundays.

Sturmhond had made sure to introduce himself to every cell of her body, not missing a single one. And Alina made sure to voice her opinion each time he did. She’d made a few friends that night, in the captain’s quarters. The steering wheel in particular Alina – her back more, if we were being specific – had gotten to know on a much more intimate level that she would’ve liked. (She did like it, though, she really did.)

Despite the lack of experience in one night stands, Alina Starkov was no stranger to hook ups. She’d had a two or three flings before. Okay, maybe just the two. There was that one time with her history tutor, Aleksander, where a pretty heated debate about Hitler’s war strategies had turned into an even more heated make out and then… Alina’s muscles ached for a week after. The second one had been with her best friend - and lifelong crush- Mal, at a camping trip in the mountains, where the tent got really cold and their survival instincts kicked in.

She didn’t consider either of those to be one night stands, because she knew the people she’d slept with.

Lying naked on the boat’s wooden floor, she could’ve safely said Sturmhond had made her forget them both. Multiple times. Until the sunrise had risen from the water’s edge.

It was when noises had started coming from the outside that the spell broke. People had started up their boats’ engines for another day of going to the lighthouse and back, pulling at ropes and shouting curses at the other sailors. The two of them had gathered their scattered clothes, dressed in haste, and went their separate ways – which meant Sturmhond stayed exactly where he’d been with Alina doing the walk of shame down the entire pier’s length.

A few of the sailors whistled as she walked past their boats, but Alina paid them no attention. She knew how she must have looked with her hair rumpled in a disarray and her day old make up running down her face. The events of last night had been written all over her. Still, she walked as if they weren’t.

A few weeks after they first met that Alina found out who he really was. She and her best friends, Genya and Zoya, had been sitting on the couch in their shared apartment, with pints of Ben&Jerry ice cream, when one of them had switched on the news and there he’d been. Sturmhond in all his glory.

But he wasn’t Sturmhond.

No, he was Nikolai Lantsov – heir to a million-dollar enterprise.

The spoon had slipped from Alina’s fingers. Her jaw had hit the floor. Genya and Zoya had looked at their best friend like she’d grown a third eye and devil horns. They’d known something was up the second they’d seen her shocked expression and the way Alina’s eyes had never left the television screen, even after Nikolai Lantsov’s picture had been replaced by the weather announcements.

“Spill,” Zoya had said. And that was what Alina did. Munching on Ben&Jerry, she’d told them all about how she had hooked up with a millionaire.

And not long after that, Alina found herself in trouble because of Sturmhond aka Nikolai Lantsov for the second time in her life.

Genya went with her to the pharmacy and tried to coax her friend into not freaking out. It wasn’t very effective and Alina wondered if she should’ve told Zoya instead. At least she would’ve kept things real. She was blunt that way.

They bought three little boxes since Alina wanted to be absolutely sure. Genya did not protest and let her friend do what she wanted. It was more efficient that way, more certain of getting an accurate result, anyway. When they gotten back to the apartment, Alina ripped open the first box right from the threshold. Grabbing a large bottle of Diet Coca-Cola from the fridge, she stormed to the bathroom and locked herself in there.

She didn’t come out until hours later.

It took a while to actually take the three tests since it took a while for Alina to do her business. The bottle of diet coke was all but gone by the time she was finished with the third test.

It was funny how your own actions can surprise you. Sometimes it was a good thing, like speaking up for yourself after years of staying silent. And other times… Well, other times you just wanted to go back in time and punch yourself in the face.

That was how Alina felt when she looked back on that one night. That was how she found herself, weeks after the _thing_ happened, peeing on a stick while her nerves were going haywire.

The wait for the results was excruciating.

When all three tests were done and the results of all there were evident, Alina picked up her phone. She dialed the phone number she’d found online and prayed for the best.

It wasn’t like she wanted to do this. Because she didn’t. At all. But her roommates had cornered her and Zoya had put her foot down.

“You’re calling him,” she’d said with a tone of finality that just dared Alina to disagree. So instead of trying to wriggle out of the situation, Alina had grabbed the phone and stomped to her room. She’d made sure to slam the door extra loudly to emphasise her feelings on the matter. _Fine, I’m doing it, but I’m not happy about it,_ the boom told the two girls in the living room.

The phone rang. Once, twice, three times. With a click, a voice was speaking on the other end. “Ravka cruise liners, how may I help you?”

“Um, can you connect me to Nikolai Lantsov, please?” Alina asked with a shaky voice.

“May I ask who is calling?”

 “It’s, uh, a friend of his. Just tell him it’s urgent.”

“I’m sorry, miss, but I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Please, just… Just tell him it’s the sunshine girl calling,” Alina said into the speaker, remembering Sturmhond’s parting words to her. _See ya around, sunshine girl_.

The woman on the other end must have heard the desperation in Alina’s voice and taken pity on her, because the next thing she knew there was a beep and a click and then Nikolai Lantsov was on the other line, his voice sounding every bit like melted honey as it did the last time.

“I must say, sunshine, I did not expect to hear from you again.” There was amusement rippling through his voice. Amusement that was about to be erased by what he was about to hear.

Alina had it planned out, how she would break the news to Ravka’s golden boy. But life didn’t always go as planned. Her never got the best of her and Alina blurted out, “I did a pregnancy test.” She heard Nikolai hitch his breath.

A beat passed. Then another one. And another one. Alina counted until the silence on the phone dragged into a minute, perhaps two.

“And what did it say,” was what broke that silence.

Alina took a deep breath. She tried to calm herself. Then, “We are so stupid.”

The line went dead.

It took another few weeks for Alina to get back into her normal routine. Well, as normal as it could’ve been, considering the circumstances.

Genya and Zoya had asked her what she planned to do now that they knew Nikolai Lantsov wanted nothing to do with the baby. (Not that Alina had expected anything else. She wasn’t even surprised, let alone heartbroken.) She told them she still hadn’t decided herself whether to keep it or not. She said she still had a little time to think things through.

But that time was ticking away and Alina was no closer to finding an answer.

In the movies, this was where the guy would run up to the girl and throw his arms around her. He’d whisper in her hair that everything was going to be alright. And then they’d kiss and you really would believe that things would be fine for them as you watched the ending credits roll.

But this was not a movie and the guy wasn’t coming to kiss the troubles away. The girl was on her own.

It was a normal afternoon and Alina had gone to the supermarket because Genya had classes at the local college and Zoya had rehearsals to go to and there was not a single thing that could even remotely pass as edible in their apartment’s fridge. A trip to the store was a mandatory drill. Especially with Alina’s cravings for _everything_.

Down the dairy isle, a bit farther from where Alina stood, were a mother and her two children – a little boy and a baby in a stroller. Without meaning to, Alina stared at the family. The boy was jumping up and down at something his mother said and was asking if they can get the Spider-Man yoghurt too, and the baby girl was giggling at her brother’s enthusiasm. The mother had bags under her eyes, so blue they were almost bruise-like, but when she turned to her son, she smiled and her whole face lit up like sunrise. She told him that yes, of course he can have the Spider-Man yoghurt too. The little boy rose on his toes to reach the plastic yoghurt container and then dumped it in their cart while jumping in glee. Alina felt herself smiling at the sight.

She’d never had a parent of her own. That was what came along with being an orphan since birth. The closest thing Alina ever had to a mother was Ana Kuya, who’d been her caretaker in one of her foster families. She’d taken care of little Alina, along with nine other kids that came from the same orphanage. Alina had always wondered how the older woman did it and when she was little, she’d often think that Ana Kuya was some sort of a magical fairy godmother. She’d yet to dismiss that theory.

Watching the family of three, Alina felt herself make a decision. No. She realized that she’d had the answer all along, hidden behind a dusty shelf at the back of her mind, waiting for the right moment to reveal itself. In the movies, the main character always had this great epiphany, right near the end, that changed their whole live. They’d always realized what they were missing was right under their noses.

Alina didn’t feel like she’d had an epiphany in that supermarket, because the realization had always been there, but she didn’t wish to acknowledge it.

She bought whatever the fridge needed and made her way back home in blissful calmness.

A few days passed, Alina was once again alone at her shared apartment. Because she still hadn’t decided on what to do with her life from now on, she didn’t have any responsibilities to tend to, unlike her two best friends. That’s why Alina spend her alone days with pints of ice cream and television. Usually, her days went on uninterrupted.

The doorbell rang. Alina contemplated whether to stand up and see who it was, or continue lounging on the couch like she wanted so desperately to do. But whomever was on the other side of the door was as persistent as she was. After the twentieth ring, Alina finally dragged herself off the couch.

The heir to an cruise liner empire was the last person Alina thought she would see standing at her threshold. But there he was. And there she was.

Alina was suddenly very aware of her unwashed hair and plaid pajamas and bunny slippers.

“I know I might be the last person you want to see right now, but please hear me out. Don’t shut the door in my face,” Nikolai begged. Even if she was planning on that, Alina was too shocked to move a muscle.

“Good. Alright. This is good. Okay, so um. Alina. Dear, sweet, lovely, Alina. What we shared might not have been much, but it was the spark that ignited a fire in me. A fire only which you can quell. Perhaps it was fate that brought us together that one night. I feel in my heart that we were made for each other. The minute my eyes settled upon your angelic face, I knew. I knew you were the one for me. You’ve rendered everyone else in my life meaningless.”

Alina had come out of her stupor by now and decided to put the guy out of his misery. “Which miserable sap got stuck with the task of writing that?”

“Hallmark.”

“You got someone from Hallmark to write a speech for you?”

“I’m liking the confidence in my resourcefulness, but no. Nothing that extreme. I stole it from a movie that was playing before I got here.”

Slience.

Alina asked, “How’d you find me?”

“Fate brought me to your doorstep.” Nikolai smirked. When he saw the look Alina was giving him, he continued, “Well that, and I got a buddy from the FBI to trace your phone call.”

“Because that’s not extreme in the slightest.”

“I try,” he shrugged.

More silence followed. It was a rubber band that was about to snap.

“I was an ass,” Nikolai whispered.

“Yeah,” Alina answered. “You were.” But she opened the door a little wider, stepping aside to let him in.

They sat on the couch. Nikolai gave her a look when he took in the large Ben&Jerry ice cream discarded on the floor. “Don’t,” Alina’s eyes warned him. They didn’t speak and the only sound in the room was from the television, some movie about guys with muscles and fast cars.

“You know, you’ve got a pretty nice setting h-“

“I’m keeping the baby,” Alina interrupted him.  She’d meant to look him in the eyes, but quickly adverted her gaze when Nikolai’s settled on her face. After a long while he said, “Okay.”

The silence that followed was not as awkward as before. The two of them relaxed, Nikolai sinking further into the couch while Alina grabbed ahold of the ice cream again. The focus was entirely on the TV now, watching as cars exploded.

“What was with that speech earlier,” Alina asked later, when the movie’s credits were rolling, “the one at the door?”

“Oh, that. I was trying to break the ice. Guess it didn’t work exactly as I’d hoped.”

“ It worked, alright. I can hear the entire continent of Antarctica cracking as we speak.”

Nikolai smiled at her and Alina smiled at him and it was like the ending of a movie where the audience believed the couple would make it.

“What do we do now? Should we, like, get married or something?”

“We barely know each other, Nikolai.”

“There’s always time for that.”

“We can’t get married.”

“The what do we do?”

“I don’t know,” Alina sighed. She wished she knew. But unless a sign fell from the ceiling and hit her on the head, she had no sense of direction. They fell silent again. This time, the silence had a weight, like the clouds right before a storm.

Nikolai clasped her hand in his palms and sent warmth throughout Alina’s body. He looked at her with tender hazel eyes that held all the reassurance she needed. “We’re going to figure this out,” he told her. “Together.”


	2. better than the movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cooing and smiling at her daughter, Alina thought that if she ever had the chance to go back and change that one night she’d tell whomever was offering to stick it up their ass.

Having a baby was hard. Alina wished somebody had told her that before she’d gone and gotten herself knocked up. Not to mention it hurt like hell. Nine months of back pain and alcohol deprivation and how did life reward her? By gifting her with the most intense pain Alina had ever felt. She was going to rip that bastard a new one when she got her hands on him.

“Just breathe, honey, it’s going to be fine.” That was rich of her, considering she wasn’t about to push a real human being out of her lady parts. She was only in the room under false pretenses, like if the doctor would happen to need a tool handed to him or a bottle of water to tame his thirst or someone to wipe the sweat off his brow. Because telling someone to push whilst watching a baby coming out of their genitalia was so exhausting.

Alina decided right then and there that she hated nurses. And obstetricians.

Being stabbed in the gut would probably have hurt less. Alina distinctly heard a machine beeping next to her, but it was drowned out by the ringing in her ears and the agony that was causing it.

Someone was gripping her hand. It was such a strong hold that had Alina not been in the worst pain in the history of her life, she probably would’ve noticed it more. It probably would’ve hurt her fingers. But it didn’t because she _was_ in the worst pain in the history of her life. And this time, when another contraction came, Alina could not hold back her scream. It seemed impossible before, that the hold on her hand could get any stronger, but it did.

“Just a little more, you’re almost there.”

“Thanks for the reassurance, pal.” _Have some respect_ , a little voice inside her head was telling her. Alina shushed it. Snapping at the hospital personnel probably wasn’t the best idea, but Alina couldn’t find it in herself to give a shit. Not when something was trying to crawl out of her womb and rip her apart in the process. Not when the doctor was getting paid to get it out of her.

 _Almost. There_.

Alina was huffing like the wolf from that Three Little Pigs story. If there were a brick house in front of her, she’d surely knock it down with one blow.

“Breathe, Alina, breathe.” That voice. Oh, that voice. How she hated it so. Its owner was the one responsible for all this pain. He had been the one to put her through this.

“I’m going to kill you,” Alina growled at him. “This is all your fault!” She kept repeating it over and over. Her voice broke as the pain grew and Alina couldn’t stop herself from sobbing. Wouldn’t someone stop this torture? She wanted it to stop. Why wasn’t anyone stopping it? It hurt. Why wasn’t the pain going away?

Alina screamed again.

Suddenly there was crying. A piecing wail cut through the hospital room. Alina felt the pain slowly fading away, being replaced by a static numbness. “Congratulations,” the doctor and nurses were saying. Alina barely heard them. She felt like she was going to pass out. She wanted to. Peace was so close, yet so far out of her reach. All she wanted was to tilt her head back and let sleep pull her under.

No such luck. Alina cursed.

Nikolai looked as exhausted as she felt. He wasn’t the one who just gave birth, but he sure did look like it. If Alina had any more strength in her, she would’ve slapped him. “Get yourself together,” she muttered instead. She didn’t even have enough in her to lift her head properly in order to look Nikolai in the eyes and it just looked like she was talking to herself. Nikolai stroked her hair and told her everything was alright. No, it wasn’t because she couldn’t feel anything and her eyelids were closing by themselves and yet sleep still wasn’t allowed and she had just pushed her child out into the world and she didn’t even know if it was a boy or girl.

“It’s a girl,” Nikolai said as if he read her thoughts. His hand came under her chin and lifted Alina’s head so she could look into his hazel eyes. They were glowing. His whole face was glowing with happiness. Alina wished she could glow too. The worst was over at least. Now all they had to do was raise a baby. Seemed easy enough. Easier than giving birth to it.

A month later, Alina wanted to eat her words.

They were living together. It made sense, especially if they were going to raise their child together. Nikolai had told her he wanted to be there, and not just for his kid. Alina had gaped at him. “Close that mouth or you’re going to attract flies,” he’d told her. “But I’m serious, Alina. Please allow me to be part of your life, too.” How could one refuse? She’d simply nodded.

Genya and Zoya’s absence could be felt in each room. Alina wasn’t used to having a place to herself. Sure, she’d spent whole days at home alone, but her two best friends always returned at the end of them. And their stuff had been scattered all over the apartment, making it seem like they were always there, even when they weren’t. But now there were no hair curlers forgotten on the kitchen sink and no dance shoes abandoned at the foot of the bed or under the dining room table.

Now there were carefully arranged kitchen shelves, clothes pressed and neatly folded into a mahogany wardrobe, king-sized beds that didn’t creak when you settled on them. The only remnant of Alina’s old life was the framed picture of the three of them that Genya and Zoya gave her when she moved out ten months ago. It had almost been an year since she’d began living with Nikolai and the absence of her old home still hit Alina like a kick in the stomach every morning when she woke up in a strange bedroom. (It wasn’t strange, she kept telling herself, just new.)

The first few weeks had been awkward, to put it mildly. Neither Alina nor Nikolai knew how to behave around the other. They weren’t technically dating, despite moving in together and having a baby. They were not a couple. At least, not a regular one. Just two people living under the same roof, taking care of their child. Yeah, try putting that on a Christmas greeting card.

Awkward reached extremely high levels when one morning before work. Nikolai was heading out the door as Alina was yelling behind him about getting ice cream on the way home. He’d turned around, said, “Sure thing,” and planted one on her. Alina’s eyes had widened to the size of Jupiter. She’d barely had time to process what had happened. Nikolai just stood there with big eyes and pink cheeks. With lightning speed, he’d excused himself and burst though the front door as if there had been a fire.

They never spoke of that accident again.

Over the weeks, however, thoughts of that morning would swirl in Alina’s head. She’d wonder what had possessed Nikolai to do that, and what would it had felt like if he did it again. Usually that was the moment when Alina would stop her thoughts abruptly and continue doing whatever she had been doing while heat rose to her cheeks.

Shouts of “Turn the TV up!” came from one of the bedrooms.  Groans of “Do we have to watch this?” answered back.

“Yes, we do. Of course we do,” said Alina as she plopped herself on the couch. “I’ve just put Tatiana to sleep and she nodded off almost instantly. Now, let’s watch this shit.” Grabbing the remote from his hands, Alina turned the volume up.

Nikolai Lantsov appeared on screen with his sandy hair slicked back and his suit tailored to fit him like a glove. He looked like a million bucks. The heir of the Ravkan Empire was talking about the future of the cruise liner company and what he planned to do when he inherited it all.

“Oh god, you sound like a politician,” Alina moaned. “You look like one, too! Do you ever tell the truth?”

 “Now wouldn’t that make me a _bad_ politician?” He was teasing her. Alina felt a strange flutter in her stomach as Nikolai smiled at her. Rather than let it unsettle her, she pushed it aside. _If you ignore it, it’ll go away._ That childish logic that seemed to never work but was always put in use. They watched the rest of Nikolai’s interview in silence. After which, both of them made way to their respective bedrooms.

Some nights, while watching TV, Alina would doze off on Nikolai’s shoulder. On those nights, he would lift her up and cradle her in his arms, then carry her limp body to her bedroom and tuck her in. Alina always woke up while he was trying to get her off the couch, but she never gave herself away. Nikolai’s arms were warm and comfortable. They felt like home.

She wished tonight was one of those nights.

She wished she didn’t have to sleep alone all the time.

But she didn’t have a fairy godmother, and not all wishes were made to be granted.

Her best friends visited sometimes. Genya absolutely adored little Tatiana and spent every second of their visit with her. Alina once had jokes about feeling jealous of her own daughter. Genya had simply stuck her tongue out at her and continued playing with the baby. Zoya looked from a far, claiming to be a “not a kids type of chick” but it was evident that she loved Tatiana as much as Genya. The gifts she brought over for the infant were clues enough. Alina felt blessed to have them in her life. She wouldn’t trade her best friends for anything in the world.

On one particular visit, all she wanted was exactly that. Alina would’ve traded them for a pack of matches.

Genya and Zoya had staged an intervention. They had set Alina up, tricked her, betrayed her. How could they?

“It’s time we talk about you and Nikolai,” Genya said even before she’d entered the apartment. “You can’t go on like this, Al.”

“Go on like what? Me and Nikolai are perfectly fine!” Alina was baffled. She didn’t understand what the redheaded girl meant.

Zoya cleared her throat, “She meant you can’t go around tiptoeing around each other’s feelings anymore, dumbass.”

Alina started to deny it, but snapped her mouth shut. It was futile, these girls knew her better than she knew herself. They’d known her almost all her life. There was no point in lying to them. So she didn’t. She told them about the flutters in her stomach, about that abrupt kiss, about how she wished it would happen again. Alina told them how some night her mind would wander back to that one night that started it all.

Alina snorted all of a sudden. It was exactly like in the movies. When did her life suddenly become a chick flick? How had it happened?

“Maybe when you got knocked up by a millionaire, Al.” Zoya snickered. That made Alina laugh more. It was all so bizarre. Next thing you knew, Nikolai would burst through the front door, declare his undying love for her. He’d take her on a romantic dinner on one of his boats. He’d put a large diamond ring in one of the wine glasses and everything would be so perfectly romantic that Alina would want to gag and puke her intestines out.

But no matter how much her life resembled a romantic comedy, this was real life. And it didn’t happen like that. Love wasn’t romantic dates and epic declarations of love. It was messy and it was tough, but if you worked hard enough – it payed out in the end.

Alina sent her friends off with the promise of working out what to do with her emotions. She didn’t promise them that she’d talk to Nikolai about them, because then she’d have to actually talk to him about them. And she didn’t want to do that. Not right now.

It was not like she was in love with the guy, anyway.

Taking care of a baby was hard. Alina wished parenthood came with instructions, or a class on _How to Change A Diaper Without Getting Shit On Yourself 101_. Perhaps she should start one. Once she mastered the task herself, that is.

But Tatiana was sunshine itself. The little girl, so small, yet ready for all the adventures the outside world could offer. She was loud and playful, she cried with a force, but laughed even stronger. Her hazel eyes pierced your very soul, cracked you open until only your true self remained.

That’s the thing about babies - they were so pure and innocent. They brought out the best in you.

Cooing and smiling at her daughter, Alina thought that if she ever had the chance to go back and change that one night she’d tell whomever was offering to stick it up their ass. Nothing in the world could make her trade the precious baby girl that wriggled and giggled at the sight of her mother’s funny faces.

Nikolai’s parents weren’t ecstatic about her and their son having a daughter and them living together, to say the least. But Nikolai had put his foot down and packed up his bags before anyone could utter another word of protest. His big brother, Vasily, had sworn off the family business and went on to become a governor instead. Nikolai was Ravka’s only hope of a future. So the “King” and “Queen” of Ravka stepped down and let their son do as he pleased.

In the months of her pregnancy, Nikolai’s parents had come around a little. They weren’t ready to open up their arms and take Alina into a warm embrace, but they weren’t cold either. They were trying to be supportive and Alina appreciated that, despite his mother’s snide comments. She’d promised Nikolai she’d try, too, so that was what she was doing.

But it was a good thing they didn’t invite them for dinner very often.

“How’s my baby girl,” Nikolai cooed, coming up behind Alina and bringing her out of her thoughts.

“She’s being pampered like a princess, if you can’t tell.”

“Only the best for my girl, obviously.” Alina turned to smile at him.

“So, how was work?”

“Are we really going to be that couple, Alina?”

 _I didn’t even realize we_ were _a couple_ , she thought. “Oh, c’mon. I was just making conversation,” she said instead.

“I think I’d rather talk about the weather.”

“So we’re one of _those_ couples now?” Even Tatiana giggled at this, not that she could possibly understand what her parents were saying. She was just a bubbly little baby, already in love with the world even at only two months old. Alina smiled at her daughter for the millionth time that day.

Nikolai put his hands at Alina’s waist as both of them watched their little miracle looked up at them with stars in her eyes. “You know, I think I love you,” Nikolai spoke. Alina turned around and saw him looking at her instead of Tatiana.

In the movies, the guy would profess his unconditional love for the girl with a heartfelt (and very cliché) speech with too many metaphors and not enough substance, despite him talking for twenty minutes while rain splattered around the couple.

But this was not the movies.

It was better.

“I think I do, too.”


End file.
